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I wait for my Master, for only he knows what I truly need: Rescue.I don't ask myself how I came to need this. I once did, but in my inability to understand myself, I stopped. Why it is does not matter to me. It simply is, and I must have it.Master did not put me here. I did. My fears must be real in order to be faced. Is this real? It's as close as I can get, and I am thankful for it.Somewhere in the blackness I see, there are memory clips, moments out of time, my moments of anguish. I see a pickup truck pulling out of a driveway, boxes stacked in any empty house, a house that had been a home but is no longer. The home that was is in the boxes. My mother is crying, the sound of her quiet sobbing forms the soundtrack of my life.I will not cry, for my Master is near. My Master will come for me. I hear footfalls crunching the fallen leaves. He is here. My Master says nothing, but I feel him in the air. I hear the snap of scissors, opening and closing. I feel the taut hem of my dress. Now, that little "hick" town and the area around it was just what I needed. The death of my family left me adrift and I needed to reconnect with who I was and where I came from. I could do that in Van Buren and the surrounding area. It's was full of wonderful memories of when I was growing up. I spent the night at Smalley's Motel. The motel had been there longer than I have been alive. It wasn't fancy, no internet, no cable T.V.; no T.V. at all because reception is so bad in the valley. All you got was a comfortable bed, a roof over your head, and the best breakfast ever. After eating, I climbed on my bike and headed out of town on Highway 60 to a certain farm about 20 miles northwest of town.This farm and the people that own it were part of my past, my heritage, and my family. Uncle Lewis and Aunt Mary had lived on their farm for what seemed forever. They were actually my grandfather's Aunt and Uncle. I was 10 when I started staying with them during the summer breaks from school..
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